


Picking up the Pieces

by Thomasnewtminho29



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Season 3, Season 3 Spoilers, set after 3x04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 01:33:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6033229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thomasnewtminho29/pseuds/Thomasnewtminho29
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Monty couldn’t help but think that he’d just sealed his best friend’s fate. He’d told the person he held most dear in the entire universe that he was going to leave him to fall apart alone." </p>
<p>Set after Monty and Jasper's fight. Monty's wracked with guilt and Jasper realises that Monty's the only person he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Picking up the Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sad about Monty walking away that I needed to fix it. I needed to fix Bellamy as well because I didn't like how easily he decided to go along with Pike's plan. 
> 
> I hope jonty will get back together soon in the show but until then I'm going to continue writing fic where they're happy and in love :)

Monty’s chest ached more with every step he took away from Jasper. He felt dead inside. After nearly 16 years of friendship, 16 years of _loving_ Jasper, he’d done what he’d never thought he’d do and he’d walked away. He was just too tired and weighed down to cope with the emotional and physical abuse that Jasper constantly threw at him. He couldn’t help but think that he’d just sealed his best friend’s fate though. He’d told the person he held most dear in the entire universe that he was going to leave him to fall apart alone.

 

Upon this realisation, Monty stopped in the middle of the woods, leant heavily against a tree and howled with grief for everything he’d lost. His childhood, his father, _Jasper._ It was all gone. After a few minutes he straightened up, wiped his eyes and schooled his face into a neutral expression. Maybe it was time for him to try and move on. He wasn’t sure if he could though. Every part of him was hoping that Jasper would sort himself out and they could work something out between them. He wasn’t overly optimistic though.

 

He reached the fences of Arkadia and climbed back through the gap that Jasper had made earlier that day. He momentarily forgot about all the pain surrounding his fight with Jasper when he saw the chaos that the Camp was in. Pike was surrounded by a crowd of people shouting his name. Octavia and Lincoln were standing to one side and Monty didn’t think he’d ever seen Octavia look so angry.

 

“Monty!” he heard Bellamy call. He appeared in front of Monty with a gun slung over his shoulder. “I’ve been looking for you. I need you in my group.”

 

“Your group for what?” Monty asked, frowning as cheers went up from the Arkers who were listening to Pike speak.

 

“You haven’t heard?” Bellamy said. “Pike won the vote for Chancellor. We’re attacking the Army of Grounders near the gate.”

 

“That’s the worst idea I’ve ever heard” Monty said. He couldn’t believe Bellamy was going along with this. “What’s that going to achieve? They didn’t blow up Mount Weather. That was the Ice Nation. All you’re going to do is start a war.”

 

Bellamy looked disappointed. “I thought you’d understand” he said. “Your mum’s on Pike’s side.”

 

Monty sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He’d wanted to come home and grieve his friendship with Jasper but as usual there was no time to grieve.

 

Bellamy looked at Monty properly and seemed to do a double take as though he’d just woken from a dream. “Wait a moment, where have you been?” he frowned. “Why have you been crying? Where’s Jasper?”

 

“I don’t care” Monty mumbled. That was a lie. He did care about Jasper, he always would, but he couldn’t think about him now.

 

Bellamy was now completely focused on Monty. “ _You_ don’t care about _Jasper_?” he asked.

 

“I give up” Monty said, his voice choked. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t look after him when he just hurts me again and again. I’m not strong enough anymore. I miss him so much but I can’t keep being around him.”

 

Bellamy’s face softened. He glanced back towards Pike and then looked at Monty. After a minute he seemed to make up his mind and handed his gun to Monty. “Just tell me where Jasper is” he said. “You don’t have to do anything. I’ll sort it. Just tell Pike I’ll be back soon.”

 

Monty nodded and felt a wave of relief wash over him. He still needed to know that Jasper was ok. He needed to know that his friend wasn’t lying dead by the door of the Dropship. Jasper’s final words to him as he walked away, _see you on the other side,_ had sounded ominous and Monty was worried. He’d always love Jasper. “I left him at the Dropship” he told Bellamy. “He was drunk.”

 

Bellamy nodded and squeezed Monty’s shoulder. “I’ll bring him back” he said softly. Monty’s eyes filled with tears. Jasper wasn’t his responsibility anymore. He watched Bellamy disappear through the gap in the fence and went to try and talk some sense into his mum.

 

*************************************************************

 

Jasper didn’t know how long he’d sitting amongst Finn’s ashes for. His tears were still steadily dripping onto the grass and mixing with the ashes which were swirling around. Monty was gone. Jasper had briefly thought for a moment that Monty might have heard his sobs and come running back to see if he was ok. He hadn’t. Jasper was alone. He was at rock bottom now and he wanted to come back from it. He didn’t want to drink every night until he was unconscious. He didn’t want to feel like his whole body was being split apart from the pain he felt. He definitely didn’t want to see the look of defeat that he’d just seen in Monty’s eyes, the look that showed that he’d given up. Jasper didn’t know how to get back. All he knew was that he didn’t want to fall apart alone like Monty had suggested. He needed his friends and deep down he knew that the one person who he really needed was Monty.

 

He heard the leaves by the old gate to the Dropship rustle and his heart sped up. The Ice Nation had come back for him. They’d seen Monty leave and realised he was alone and vulnerable. Jasper squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath as he waited to die.

 

“Jasper?”

 

Jasper’s eyes flew open and he stared at Bellamy. Bellamy slowly walked towards him and crouched down, his forehead creasing as he stared at the ground.

 

“Is that…”

 

“Finn’s ashes” Jasper confirmed. He ran his hand under his nose and sniffed. “I didn’t mean to drop them. I only brought them with me because I was angry and drunk.”

 

Bellamy sighed and hauled Jasper up off the ground. “Let’s get you cleaned up” he muttered as he brushed the remains of the ashes from Jasper’s trousers. He led Jasper to another patch of grass and Jasper flopped down and pulled his knees to his chest.

 

“How did you find me?” he asked.

 

“Monty’s worried about you” Bellamy replied. “I told him I’d come and get you.”

 

“He wasn’t worried enough to come and get me himself” Jasper muttered. He knew he was being unfair, that he’d pushed Monty to his limits, but the pang of loss in his chest was making him bitter.

 

“You’ve really hurt him” Bellamy said. “To be honest I’m not surprised he’s snapped.”

 

“I don’t hate him” Jasper admitted. “I just- I need someone to blame and I know I shouldn’t blame him but he was Maya’s friend!”

 

“He liked Maya” Bellamy told him, “but he _loves_ you. He’d choose you every time. You must know that.”

 

Jasper did know that. Monty’s unwavering sense of loyalty was one of the things Jasper loved most about him. “I’ve ruined everything haven’t I?” he asked, turning to look at Bellamy. “I’ve lost Monty for good.”

 

Bellamy shook his head. “I don’t think you could ever lose Monty” he said. “I think he needs to be on his own for a bit so he can fix himself but you need each other.”

 

“He said I had to pull myself together and get on with my life or I’d have to fall apart alone” Jasper recalled.

 

Bellamy smiled slightly. “Work on putting yourself back together then” he suggested. “I know it’s not easy. I’m not in a good place right now either but just take it slow. I think that’s all Monty wants. He doesn’t want to see you destroying yourself and everyone around you anymore.”

 

Jasper nodded slowly. They both fell silent as Jasper thought about whether he could pick up the pieces of his life. Monty walking away from him had really shaken him and he was beginning to realise that Maya wouldn’t want him to ruin his life. She’d want him to be happy with Monty. She’d want them to help each other.

 

“Gina’s dead” Bellamy said suddenly. Jasper remembered hearing that Bellamy’s girlfriend had died in the Mount Weather explosion. He still hadn’t completely forgiven Bellamy for his part in Maya’s death but he felt a pang of sympathy towards him.

 

“I’m sorry” he murmured.

 

“I just want justice for her death” Bellamy continued. “For all their deaths. When you were in Mount Weather and they were drilling our friends for their bone marrow you wanted revenge didn’t you?”

 

Jasper remembered the sheer terror he’d felt during those two days when Monty was missing and the anger when he’d rescued Monty from the cage, bleeding, bruised and terrified.

 

“I wanted to kill Cage and Tsing and the guards” he said. “I knew that most people didn’t have any idea what was going on though so I didn’t want to kill everyone.” He thought that the last part sounded bitter and he winced. “Why do you want to know?”

 

“While you and Monty were here we voted for Pike to be Chancellor” Bellamy said. “I backed him because he wants to attack the grounder army that are outside the gates.”

 

Jasper felt cold. “I don’t trust many grounders” he said slowly “but don’t you think that’s going too far? They didn’t kill Gina. The Ice Nation killed her. We met them remember? They sliced my neck with a knife. They’re pretty different to grounders like Lincoln.” He looked up at Bellamy. “You don’t need to kill everyone.”

 

Bellamy was quiet for a long time. “Maybe you’re right” he said eventually. “Maybe I’m not thinking straight. I don’t want to kill people who are here to help. That’s not who I am.” He flashed a watery smile at Jasper. “You’re more like Monty than you think. He basically said the exact same thing before I left. That’s why I asked you. I trust both of you.”

 

Jasper didn’t know what to say. It meant a lot that someone still trusted him, especially someone who he’d treated pretty badly. He felt a tiny bubble of pride at the thought of being compared to Monty. It was the first positive feeling he’d had in months.

 

“We both need to do the right thing” Jasper decided.

 

Bellamy nodded and placed his hand on Jasper’s shoulder. “How about we help each other?”

 

Jasper nodded and then hesitated. “Monty misses me” he said. “He misses his best friend. But I’m not that person anymore. I’m not the best friend that he had before.”

 

Bellamy squeezed his shoulder. “I don’t think he means that he wants the boy with the goggles who was always joking around back” he said. “He just wants you to be happy. He wants you to be able to talk to him.”

 

“Ok” Jasper said shakily. “I think I can do that.”

 

Bellamy stood up and held out his hand for Jasper. “You don’t have to rush” he reminded Jasper. “You both need time alone. Monty’s not going anywhere.”

 

Jasper took Bellamy’s hand and let his friend pull him up. He felt positive for the first time in ages. Bellamy and Monty were right. It was time to move on. He’d always remember Maya but he’d honour her memory instead of letting himself drown in grief. He wanted Maya to be proud of him. _He wanted Monty to be proud of him._

 

“Let’s go home” Bellamy said. He turned and walked towards the gate. Jasper paused, took the bottles of alcohol out of his bag, placed them on the ground and then followed Bellamy.

 

 

**TWO WEEKS LATER:**

 Monty had slowly started feeling better over the last two weeks. He’d taken the time to look after himself for once instead of jumping in to help other people. It was hard though, seeing as war was on the horizon for the people in Arkadia. Bellamy had returned home with Jasper and had immediately told Pike that he no longer supported his attack on the grounders. Pike went ahead with the attack with a group which had unfortunately included Monty’s mother. Monty had been furious and had tried to explain to his mother many times that he supported the grounders. His mother’s answer was always the same though.

 

_“Grounders killed your father and our friends.”_

_“They left you and Jasper to die in that Mountain. I can’t forgive that.”_

 

The Commander had declared Pike’s attack as an act of war and Clarke had returned to try and make some sort of deal which could save everyone. Monty hoped that whatever she did would be enough. He’d had enough war and heartache to last a lifetime.

 

He still found himself searching for Jasper several times a day. Jasper had started helping Abby and Jackson in medical and Monty hadn’t seen him drink at all since their fight. He definitely seemed happier and there was a spring in his step. A couple of days earlier Monty had heard him laugh and it was the most beautiful sound that Monty had ever heard. He missed Jasper more every day. It hurt a little that Jasper had seemed happier since Monty had walked away from him but all Monty had ever wanted was for Jasper to be happy so he was trying to deal with it.

 

As the sun set, Monty stood with a cup of moonshine watching his friends laughing around the campfire at something Miller had said. Someone came and stood next to Monty and he heard them clear their throat.

 

“The sunset’s beautiful tonight.”

 

Monty froze and just managed to stop himself from dropping his cup. The last time he’d heard that voice it had been full of anger and bitterness. Now Jasper just sounded nervous. Monty nodded, unable to speak and slowly turned his head to look at Jasper. The softness in Jasper’s eyes made Monty’s knees buckle and his eyes fill. It had been so long since Jasper had looked at him like that. Monty wanted to weep.

 

Jasper ran his hand through his hair. “I-uh-I was just wondering if you’d like to go for a walk with me?” he stuttered. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you.”

 

“Yes” Monty squeaked. He coughed and tried again. “I mean, yeah, that would be nice.”

 

They walked together in complete silence with their hands in their pockets. The silence wasn’t as tense as it would have been a few weeks earlier but there was still a slight feeling of awkwardness between them.

 

Jasper stopped suddenly and turned to face Monty. His eyes were full of guilt and regret. “I’m trying” he said nervously. “I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since… since that night.” He stopped and Monty tried to give him a reassuring smile.

 

“I went to Abby for help” Jasper continued. “Her and Jackson have been working through my anger with me. Bellamy’s been great too. So have Raven and Octavia. Even Miller!” Monty held his breath, he didn’t even want to move until Jasper had finished speaking. It felt like he was in a dream.

 

Jasper rubbed his face with his hand. “What I’m trying to say Monty is that as soon as you left I realised that you were right. I guess I was so focused on destroying my own life I didn’t realise that I was destroying yours as well. I did use you as a punching bag, I did place the blame on you when I should have been placing the blame on Mount Weather. I realised that Maya would be disappointed in me. She knew I loved you, I still do, and she’d want me to look after you the way that you looked after me.”

 

 

Jasper took a deep breath. “Bellamy told me to give you time alone to look after yourself. Maybe two weeks isn’t enough but I miss you so much. I know that you probably won’t forgive me, I wouldn’t if I was you, but I’m hoping for a second chance to try and make things right and to prove how much you mean to me.”

 

He held out his hand solemnly. It looked so oddly formal that Monty felt a laugh bubbling up inside him. All he wanted to do was lean forward and kiss Jasper but that wasn’t appropriate. They were still a long way from that. Instead, Monty took a step forward and hugged Jasper tightly. He heard Jasper gasp in surprise before he wrapped his arms around Monty’s waist so tightly that Monty could hardly breathe. Monty hadn’t realised how much he’d missed Jasper until this moment and he couldn’t help the tears that rolled down his cheeks.

 

“I’m so proud of you” he whispered. Jasper pulled away and Monty could see that he was crying too.

 

“So does this mean I get that second chance?” Jasper asked, his hands lightly resting against Monty’s waist. His breath was warm on Monty’s face and it made Monty shiver.

 

“Yes” Monty said softly. “You were ill Jasper. All I ever wanted was for you to get better, I just want you to be happy.”

 

“You make me happy” Jasper said earnestly. “I didn’t realise it before but you hold me together. You’re the reason I picked up the pieces and decided to live.”

 

Monty smiled through his tears. “We’ve still got a long way to go” he told Jasper. “We’re different people to the boys we were on the Ark. We’ve got to figure out how to go forward.” He couldn’t help reaching up to stroke Jasper’s cheek.

 

“We’ll be ok” Jasper smiled. “Whatever happens in the future, you’ll always be my best friend.” They turned as one and Jasper rested his hand on Monty’s back. Monty smiled at the warmth and sense of security that the simple gesture gave him.

 

As he listened to Jasper recount one of Raven’s stories from the Ark, Monty felt himself relax. They may be about to be thrown into war but for now they were safe. Jasper was safe.

 

Monty looked up at the stars and smiled. ‘ _Thank you Maya’_ he thought. _‘Thank you for bringing him back to me.’_


End file.
